Books and resources to help children understand death (age-appropriate picks families can use)

When a child is dealing with death, a good book gives you a shared “third thing” to look at together - so the conversation isn’t all on them (or all on you). Age-appropriate stories can put plain language to big, confusing ideas like “death,” “funeral,” and “missing someone,” and they can show kids that a lot of feelings can be true at the same time: sadness, anger, worry, even moments of play. Books also help because kids often ask the same questions again and again. Re-reading lets them revisit the hard parts at their own pace, and it gives you a steady way to answer honestly without overexplaining. You don’t have to get every word perfect - what matters most is being present, naming what’s happening, and making it safe for your child to talk (or not talk) when they’re ready.

For younger kids, it helps to choose books that are concrete and gentle - simple words, clear pictures, and room for questions. Allina Health recommends several options for preschool through about age 8, including “The Goodbye Book” by Todd Parr, “The Invisible String” by Patrice Karst, and “Lifetimes: A Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children” by Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen. These kinds of books tend to work well for this age because they focus on understandable themes - saying goodbye, staying connected through love and memory, and learning that all living things have a beginning and an end - without expecting a child to process adult details. If your child is very young, don’t worry about reading the whole book straight through. A few pages can be enough. Pause when your child points at something, repeats a phrase, or asks “why?” - those moments are usually where the real conversation happens.

As kids get older (around ages 8–12), they usually want more direct answers and more specific language. Allina Health also provides curated recommendations for this age group, along with topic-specific lists that can help you match a book to what your child is facing - like preparing for funerals or coping with the death of a pet. If your child is asking detailed questions, or if the loss has a particular context that’s hard to explain, those targeted lists can save you time and help you pick something that fits.

When you’re ready to get a book, pay attention to where the recommendations are pointing you. Allina Health notes that many of the book references link out to commercial sellers, and their lists often include guidance on where to order. For journals and workbooks in particular, you may also see publisher contact information listed for ordering. That can be helpful if you’re trying to find a specific edition, need multiple copies, or want to check whether a resource is available in a different format.

Using Books Tips

• ✓ Read together in short chunks, then pause - kids often need time to absorb what they heard.
• ✓ Invite questions, even the blunt ones. If you don’t know an answer, it’s okay to say so and keep it simple.
• ✓ Use clear, concrete language (“died,” “death”) if your family is comfortable with it; vague phrases can confuse young children.
• ✓ Follow your child’s lead. If they change the subject or want to play, that can be their way of coping.
• ✓ Expect repetition. Many kids want the same book (and the same questions) over and over.
• ✓ Watch for what the story brings up. A child’s comments about the character are often really about their own fears or worries.
• ✓ End with reassurance and routine: who is caring for them, what happens next today, and when you’ll be together again.